Self-Reflection on Not Resigning (2022 06 22)

In March 2021 I resigned my commission as an Army Reserve officer. Well, at least I wrote a letter saying I was and why. I was tired, couldn’t seem to find joy in my labor, and didn’t see anything changing. Ministry in a world without physical contact and interaction was a world I just didn’t feel like I could or wanted to live in. Leading my family and church and trying to finish a doctorate degree during a global pandemic felt like more than enough. I felt like I was drowning while still trying to rescue others.


I talked with my Commander and told him of my plans. He said, “Justin, I’ll support you whatever you decide to do” but also gave me sound advice and perspective. After seeking out counsel from mentors and friends, I decided to just pray, wait, and keep serving until God gave me some semblance of an answer.


Today, after more than two years in my position, I finally got to meet - for the first time - the team I had been leading and serving (minus a few). I have had weekly and often daily phone calls, texts, and emails with them, prayed with and for them, supported and encouraged them in their work, but never looked them in the eye, gave them a hug, or sat down and ate lunch together.


Today, I’m exceedingly thankful that I never submitted that letter. These teams cover 8 states and are doing amazing ministry. I’m proud of them and thankful that I get to be a part of it. Thanks to good counsel from great people, mixed with faith, patience, and persistence, today was a good day of reaping for me after what has felt like many months of sowing.